An Uncertain Future: What is the thesis of my life?

The thesis statement.

That pesky little sentence that I could never understand why teachers made such a big deal about…Perhaps if it was named something a little more clear, I wouldn’t have been so confused. Maybe I wouldn’t have so easily dismissed the thesis as unnecessary. Something like the what’s your point? sentence or the TLDR sentence. But it’s called a thesis, so here I am again, writing something without a clear thesis. Though I suppose, if I had to choose, it’d be:

TLDR – This Post’s Thesis

TLDR: My life has no thesis, no clear goal, so how am I supposed to work towards my future?

Wait…What even is this blog?

A couple months ago, someone commented on one of my blog posts. A really lovely comment about how they enjoyed my blog. It reminded me of my little forgotten corner of the internet, so I logged on and checked my stats…people have been reading. And one person even joined my mailing list.

Huh…people like my blog?

Don’t get me wrong, I like my blog too (like this post about traveling with no reception; or this post about camping across Texas during Covid). But the reason I’ve abandoned it time and time again is that I’m not quite sure what the point is. I’m not trying to sell anything (though I suppose it doesn’t hurt to plug my services as copywriter and editor); I don’t have a traditional career path, a set area of expertise; sometimes, I don’t even know what my own desires are.

A blog needs a point. It needs a thesis.

At least, that’s what all the “how to write a blog” articles online say. Am I a travel blog? Am a birding blog? Am I a fiction writer blog?

To answer these questions, first I need to know who I am.

Who even am I?

When I was 12 years old, I fell in love with birds. From that moment on, everything was geared towards getting into college to study ornithology (the study of birds). I attended a Young Birders Event, I won the science fair multiple times, I studied bird field guides…in the end, I got into the college with the best lab of ornithology in the US, maybe even the world.

I chose not to go.

In college, I still loved birds, I envisioned a life as a field technician, traveling the world studying species after species. I did multiple internships every summer, I volunteered on research projects tirelessly during the semester, I conducted an independent research project as an undergrad. After I graduated, I received a dream job studying wild ferrets with a renowned museum.

I chose not to take it.

Now, I’ve started a masters’ degree. Still with birds, maybe with a little more focus on environmental justice. But I’m not sure what I’m working towards. A phd in avian ecology? Or a career in science communication? A phd in constructive dialoguing or a career as a museum researcher? Do I want to get married? What sacrifices will I choose to make for my future children? What if I want to move to Korea?

How can I work towards something if in the end I’ll have changed my mind? I changed my mind about my dream college…I changed my mind about my dream job…when the next step is presented to me, who’s to say what I want now is what I’ll want then?

What is the thesis of my life?

But maybe the thesis doesn’t reveal itself until the very end. Or maybe the thesis only needs to be…

She lived life. And she lived it fully.

As for the thesis of this specific post, let’s leave it as a promise. More posts are coming soon! Leave a comment below on what type of content you’d like to see.