Forever in pursuit of equally maintaining my scientific and writing skills, I was applying to some freelance writing positions. As I was looking for writing samples to send in, I realized…my published pieces don’t live on the internet forever. Pieces I wrote over the years on CollegeXPress or Critterfacts have been taken down. Moreover, some guest writing pieces don’t even credit me. So, I’m going to be sharing some old pieces I’ve written over the year that are worth preserving.
“Practically perfect in every way.” This iconic quote, spoken by the mentor Mary Poppins herself, sets a high standard for our teachers. And for good reason, mentors are a fundamental part to every successful person in history. While you likely won’t find a mentor with a flying umbrella, it’s absolutely possible to find one who will completely change your life.
Here are a few key factors to look for:
They Believe in You
Imposter syndrome: the belief that you don’t belong, that you’re not good enough, and the fear that everyone will find out sooner or later. No one is immune to this pesky affliction. Take a look at Simba, Percy Jackson, Harry Potter…really, every single fictional character. Even those highly accomplished professors experience it! Ask any one of them.
In times like these, there’s nothing so empowering—and often nothing so surprising—as a mentor’s unwavering belief that you are capable of anything. They think the world of you and let you know it…even when you fail.
And when you reach your goal, their radiating pride inspires you to keep pushing forward. In the famous words of a great mentor to his mentee, Christopher Robin tells Pooh:
“You’re braver than you believe and stronger and smarter than you think”
They Let You Make Mistakes
Their unwavering confidence in you might lead to a fear of disappointing them, but mentors don’t expect perfection.
As an inexperienced undergraduate, I had the notion that yes, failure was part of the process, but it would never happen to me. And then, it happened to me. It was the day of my first DNA extractions and the results were all wrong. At each number popping up on the computer, my heart sank a little lower.
It was with great trepidation that I texted my mentor. Her response? Pure encouragement. Don’t worry about it. You’re doing fine. The next day, she told me to try again, no supervision required.
Her image of me didn’t change. But this realization changed my own self-image. If she, one of the women I most admire, didn’t expect perfection of me, why should I expect perfection of myself?
Mentors don’t just let us make mistakes. They expect them. It is this mentality that encourages us to take risks and try new things, allowing us to learn exponentially more. Dumbledore said it best:
“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.”
They Offer Advice
Have you ever expressed a problem to someone, expecting simply a sympathetic “that’s tough”? Mentors don’t do that. They take a step back from their busy lives and think. Only after they’ve looked at all possible angles will they offer advice.
Their wisdom often comes unexpectedly. On commenting to my spiritual director that I felt especially tired, she made a connection I hadn’t considered. Could it be guilt over skipping class this morning? And she was right.
Mentors come to know us well enough to help us understand ourselves on a deeper level. And the crazy thing? They care about us enough to do it. This is often shown in the form of tough love, as Edna Mode tells Elastagirl in The Incredibles:
“Go! Confront the problem! Fight! Win!”
They Love You Too
At the opening of my mentor-mentee relationship with two grad students, I’d temper my desire to go talk to them. You barely know them, I’d think. I would knock on their door every month or so. I soon realized they didn’t view me as a bother. The intermittent visits became a daily occasion.
Now, we’ve laughed, we’ve complained, and we’ve woken up at 4 AM for research together. At each step of the process, our relationship has grown—a relationship that is very much mutual.
Mentor relationships aren’t just about what we, the mentees, get out of them. They’re two-way relationships, valuable to both parties. Gandalf from Lord of the Rings puts it best, when he says:
“I am looking for someone to share in an adventure that I am arranging.”
Bonus: They’re Quirky
You might think Edna Mode, Yoda, and Dumbledore’s quirks are purely for entertainment purposes, but real mentors are surprisingly eccentric.
Here’s an unabridged quote of a recent email from my professor, “…you poo poo’d that earlier #I’msohipitcrayyo.” Some mentors are competitive, some are sarcastic, some collect cute mugs…
One of my mentors rolls her R’s when frustrated…I find myself doing that too now. Be warned, they rub off on you.
But rather than making them “weird,” their quirks make them all the more compelling. They add spontaneity and laughter to life, even on the hardest days.
SO WHAT NEXT?
You know what makes a good mentor. The question then becomes, once you’ve identified a potential mentor, how do you transition from acquaintance to mentee?
All that’s left is to go talk to them. Yes, it is terrifying. What if I’m bothering them? But if they’re someone truly worth admiring, they’ll make time for you. Email them, asking for a meeting. Or, if their door is open, go in person. It’ll be worth the risk, trust me.
And don’t just stop at one! As Uncle Iroh from Avatar: The Last Airbender says:
“It is important to draw wisdom from different places.”
Really, Find a Mentor!
Mentors are inspiring, quirky people whom you admire and whom you want to make proud more than anyone. Though each mentoring relationship is different, each one will bring so much joy and help you cultivate success in your life. Take the time this semester to establish and nurture a mentoring relationship. A relationship that is practically perfect in every way.
Bird Lover's Musings 